A Moment Or A Movement #MikeBrown

Last night I received a call from my brother asking about my thoughts regarding the situation in St. Louis. I had no idea what he was talking about but I listened in horror as he described the recent events surrounding Mike Brown. As with so many other news story there's another young black boy dead. No justifiable reason for the murder. Just something someone felt inclined to do at the time.

With each incident I read about my heart always cries out for the families, the local community, and the state of the country. It hurts to know I live in a country that boasts freedom yet I could be shot at any moment for no reason and no justice will be served. As much as most stories hit close to home as I think about the safety of the black men that I love most this story is home. As a St. Louis native this story could literally be my brother, cousin, friend, former classmate, or a long list of others. It hurts to see my city hurting and acting out as a result of misguided pain and frustration.

Question: We know the problem, but what is the solution?

At this point, I don't know. Some things I do know are unity and cooperation are requirements. Two heads are better than one. We are stronger together that we are apart. The pooling of talents, wisdom, experience, and connections could produce the formula needed to solve the problem. A formula that includes leadership, short and long term plans, organization, and education.

I pray for my hometown. I pray for peace, healing, and guidance.

Young, Lively, and Single

Hola!!

It has been a long time since I've written anything. I can definitely say life has taken some interesting new turns. I have found a new job, joined new organizations, reevaluated my relationships in a major way. With the school year ending and the summer of freedom beginning I decided to explore dating more. Since making that decision I have been on several dates with a variety guys. Some great, some not so awesome.

As I have evaluated my dating experiences and reflected on my judgments of the guys I've been out with I have started to narrow down what I'm looking for in a potential mate and what type of relationship I am currently seeking. I've decided I need a real man as a potential mate. Then I had to ask the question: What is a real man to me? My answer: someone respectful, chivalrous, honest, hard-working, and selfless. All of the things I was taught to a real man is by my father.

This is something I really thought about during a conversation at a dinner table with friends. During casual conversation a young woman said she couldn't date a man that was college educated. I almost laughed out loud because I used to think the same thing. I wanted the doctor/lawyer driving the nice car and living in a really expensive penthouse apartment. After walking through lakes of fire last year I have reevaluated my entire life. It's laughable and sad to think a college degree would make someone a great mate. Completely ruling out all of the other qualities that make a person wonderful and keep a relationship together, strong, and healthy. As long as my husband is committed to working and providing for our family his profession makes no difference to me.

Back to my questions, I also had to ask what type of relationship am I looking for? I constantly bounce between I want a husband, baby, and white picket fence and I really want to gallivant in the wonderful, free world of singledom! I've decided my issue is not settling. I would be happy to find the man of my dreams tomorrow but that doesn't seem like it will happen. So until then I will continue to happily skip through Singlesville. Just window shopping along the way. I'm having a blast meeting new people, trying out new places around town, and getting to know myself.

For now I will continue to dance through Singlesville town square. I'll keep you posted!

Deafening Silence

Soon I will approach the one year anniversary of my decision to uproot my life and move to a new city, in a new region of the country, and start a new career.

Fortunately and unfortunately this past year has been one of the darkest journey I have endured during my lifetime.

I could spend another year rehashing the horrors of this year in grave detail but I see no purpose in doing such a thing. What I will say is I have learned an incredible amount about myself, life, and God.

I have always known that I am a highly competent person. I am capable of greatness. One of my largest weaknesses is that I shrivel in negative environments. My current employment situation feeds on disrespect, passive aggressive actions, and facades of concern used to mask bullying and harmful agendas. This has really reminded me of how strongly I depend on a positive culture and environment to aid my abilities. My resilience and refusal to quit has pushed me far out of my comfort zone. I found myself seeking new, innovative ways to seek information and better myself in spite of the forces stacked against me.

Pushing against systematic persecution is far more exhausting than one could ever imagine unless experienced first-hand. As a young professional in a new city, in a new career, with no family or friends nearby I experienced a new level of isolation. The silence was deafening.

I found myself clinging to my sanity with white knuckles. Always seeking validation, affirmation, and support from the vary institution seeking to destroy me. I found it hard to express myself to a group of strangers as I attempted to build relationships with my new surroundings. It was also difficult to explain myself to those that knew me. They seemed so far out of my reach. Like oceans stood between myself and the rest of the world.

Alone I stood. Waiting. Wanting. Waiting on success. Waiting on hope. Wanting love. Wanting acceptance.

Eventually I went back to my roots. I went to church. A coworker suggested I try the church she attended. So, I went. The sermon was about being desperate for God. I continued to attend the church and continued to listen as the pastor spoke on this topic. I spent most of the following Sundays in a back row of the church silently crying. Listening to a sermon that seemed as if God whispered it directly to me. Calling me back to His love, grace, and lovingkindness. I began to seek God in everything I did. I also returned to my habit of meditation.

Spoiler Alert: Standing with God is more powerful, safe, and comforting than affirmation or support from any human being. God’s love and protection is stronger than any weapon formed against me.

Now I have found myself joyfully realigning myself with God and His word. I have found more peace in the last few months than I have in years. Walking through this storm has showed me how important it is to lean on Him.

As I reflected on this journey I found several instances where God spoke to me and I completely disregarded His words. As a result I found myself alone, lost and confused. Now I find myself feeling stronger than ever. I can’t even imagine concerning myself with the opinions and judgments of those I once sought approval from so desperately.

All I can do now is thank God for this journey. I am so grateful to come out of this storm with a story and a testimony. I will continue to walk in faith and listen for God’s voice as He continues to lead my life. I am excited to see what He has in store for me next. 

In the mean time and between time I will continue to Praise His Name. 

The Responsibility of Freedom

Hello there!

So, I have read several articles discussing reasons why teachers chose to leave the classroom. As I reflect on teaching and the information stated in the articles I was left feeling confused.  I 1000% understood what each article was discussing and I had had a lot of those same feelings as I encounter difficulties while teaching. My consistent thought is that I am there for the students. Regardless of how stressed I am over paperwork deadlines, various evaluations, or rude and irrational emotions of children I still love to working with kids.

My favorite part of my day is hearing the reckless comments, jokes, or questions from my students. They may tap dance on my nerves but my job would be soo boring without them. I have always been concerned that if I do leave education I would feel as though I wasn't reaching my full potential. I have also had several concerns about letting my students down. I feel a great deal of responsibility for their education.

As I was watching TV I heard someone discussing how important it is for some teachers to move on after their time in the classroom. The discussion centered around the idea that all students eventually move on with their lives. Therefore, teachers with dreams outside of the classroom can't be afraid to move on and live their dreams. I have recently had some very real thoughts about how great I am at business. I have a great track record in every field of business I have ventured in during college or post-graduate professional career.

I have decided that I will still pursue teaching jobs for next year while still applying for business jobs as well. I feel like I need the freedom to make choices that will make me happy as well. I will be praying and keeping my options open.

If you have any suggestions please feel free to share!

Til next time!
-A

Here's to 2013!

Hello,

It has been far too long since I have posted in this blog.

During 2013 my life has difficult moments and constant demands. But through it all I have gained sooo much this year!!

At the beginning of 2013 I quit my job. I then took on three part time jobs while going to school full time. I then moved and joined an unpaid teacher training program in a new city. I spent the summer busting my tail to pass the program while running through my savings. I then found a job teaching only to discover how consuming teaching can really be, especially for a new teacher.

With all that being said 2013 has been AMAZING!!!

1. I found out it's ok to quit a job you hate. You will survive and possibly find a new job that you love (like I did).

I hated my old job. I spent a lot of time dreading going to work. I was demeaned, belittled, and disrespected. I had been working with the company for nearly two years and I was terrified that I wouldn't find something better or even equal. I took a leap of faith and relied on God to see me through. I found a job I absolutely loved! The work was fun, my coworkers were a hoot, and my supervisor was supportive and encouraging. It was a beautiful lesson with a beautiful outcome. 

2. I love knowing that at any point in time I can hold down multiple jobs. There is a certain feeling of pride I get knowing I can take care of myself.

3. I let go of old/toxic friends. When I moved I left behind all things that were not progressive and positive. Losing that dead weight has shown me how free life can be when you can be yourself.

I had several "friends" that constantly criticized my life and the choices I was making.  I found myself actually holding back from telling them exciting news about my life because I knew they would rain on my parade. Now that my life is free of those restrictions I feel wonderful! So, so wonderful!!

4. I also met new friends. Moved to a new city, with a new culture, and new people to explore. I have met some great folks that I hope to call my friends for many years to come. 

5. Last, but not least I found out I have amazing my family and friends. I may have added and subtracted certain people from my life but I have been blessed with an amazing core group of friends and family  that have stood by my side and supported me through every tough time and decision. I could not have asked for a better support system. Even as I move around the country, change my jobs, and alter my life goals I have had amazing wonderful people to stand by me through it all. I love them and I am so grateful for them.

With all of that being said I accomplished most of my goals I set for 2013. I even took the time to check off some of those goals listed on my vision board.

I hope you have many things to be grateful for during 2013. I pray you enter 2014 with an open heart and mind. I can't wait to share 2014 with you!

Be on the look out for a new post about my weight loss progress and goals for 2014!!!

Feel free to leave me your thoughts in the comments section!

Love you all!

Yoga: Tara Stiles Style

So I have started my yoga journey! As I told you before I have started to follow a lot of yogis on instgram and now I need yoga to be a part of my life! I was discussing my interest in yoga with one of my good friends and she suggested I look up this Tara Stiles on Youtube. So I did and I've followed a handful of her routines over the past two weeks. Check out her videos below and click on the videos to get access to her Youtube page. You should check her page out because she has a ton of great videos with routines, recipes, and advice on health and fitness.

As always...ENJOY!!

Resisting Temptation

Hello All!

So here's another update on my progress. So first I got a new job!! That means I have three jobs...I'm excited about more money but it sucks up a lot of my time. And to further complicate things I was in training for my new job all last week and they took all of the free time I had to fit in more training. That crazy schedule led to no trip to the grocery store. No food at home means I didn't prep my meals for the week and ate out literally every night of the week. And to top that off I was exhausted and only made it to the gym twice that week. Epic Fail!! And the scale showed every bad decision.

But on a positive note I learned my lesson. This week I made the necessary sacrifices to make it to the store. I have officially stated my first of four weeks paleo. I prepped my meals, including salmon, tuna, tomatoes, peas, and apples among other things. I have learned to love tuna with out mayo! Woot!

Now as you may know I love to eat sweets and this paleo restriction is really difficult. Like no, it's so hard! So I was sitting at work day dreaming about cupcakes. Then I decided I NEEDED a cupcake! My solution: get on pinterest and find paleo friendly cupcake recipes. I found some great recipes (I'll be trying out and posting my results at a later date) but when I got to the store I found out they don't carry coconut flour. I was devastated! I needed coconut flour for all of the recipes I wanted to try and I couldn't go elsewhere because it was late and storming outside. So I spent a good 30 minutes searching the store for a paleo friendly sweet treat.

I considered buying a single cupcake, maybe a package of cookies, or a small container of ice cream. I even made it to the check out line with the ice cream! But by the grace of God I had the strength to put the ice cream back and go home empty handed. I was super duper proud of myself.

I will be picking up some coconut flour at a local natural foods (Idk if that's the proper name for that kind of store) store today.

I'll let you know how the cupcakes turn out!